


A Dance of Whiskey

by BogginsofEternalStench (TeaBagginsFromtheOak)



Series: Singing Hobbit Anthology [2]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Anyways, Author can't tag to save their life, Bilbo is a brat, Blow Jobs, I have been inspired to do a Bilbo sings and Thorin thinks it's absolutely irresistible series, I have been obssessed with the rotubuka drawing of ahegao Thorin, M/M, One Shot, PWP, Plot What Plot, Porn Without Plot, Selfish indulgence, Semi-Public Sex, Shire is basically Ireland or Scotland change my mind, Singing Bilbo, TLC, The company thinks he's pretty cute too, Thorin is injured, Travelling Experiences by 13 nosy queers, if you haven't seen it it's on her tumblr, part of my inspiration for this story honestly, so here's another story of Bilbo showing the company some of his culture, which leads to a riled up Dwarven King
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:46:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25609105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeaBagginsFromtheOak/pseuds/BogginsofEternalStench
Summary: Bilbo seems to have a knack for attracting the company with the rare and seldom instances when he shows off the singing prowess the Shire culture has to offer. Thorin takes notice and wants to find out what other secrets that mild mannered hobbit is hiding behind sly smiles and sidelong glances.
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield
Series: Singing Hobbit Anthology [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1856194
Comments: 11
Kudos: 123





	A Dance of Whiskey

**Author's Note:**

> So like I said in the tags this is going to be a series of one shots where Bilbo sings. Yeah that's about it. Also it leads to sex, but you know that was kind of a given. Since everyone liked Rattlin Bog so much and I only know how to expand my library when it comes to music this series could get pretty long. Don't worry I haven't forgotten about my other stories, I am working on them and should have a few new chapters up probably by Friday. If anyone has any suggestions or wants to shoot me some prompts for songs or scenes I am totally down.  
> Also for this song I am using the Hozier version he sings in that Current video, and I'm having Bilbo sing it in a similar way. I have heard several artists do covers of this song and everyone has their own flare to it, but I really enjoy the way Hozier does it so that's how it's going to be used in this story  
> Edit: I had to change the title because I realized that one of my favorite author's also has a story named Humours of Whiskey and I felt horrible that they might think I'd copy them. I'm sorry, I forgot they wrote that story

The fire crackled lazily as the dwarves sat around consuming themselves in idle chatter. Bilbo was content to sit with the empty bowl in his hands as he took in the ambiance of the entire scene. Fili and Kili were whispering close to each other and Bilbo internally groaned at the thought that maybe they were up to some nonsense. The fear of being chased down by orcs was hardly enough to keep them from being the rambunctious dwarrow they were. They had to camp for the night in the forest after their arrival at the Carrock. The climb down had been rather disastrous as Thorin was leading the troupe with his injured side and thus making the otherwise easy climb several hours longer than anticipated. They would also stop frequently as well as Thorin was prone to bouts of worry for the hobbit who had changed a tide within the dwarf. Bilbo would be lying if he said he didn’t still have butterflies in his stomach from the way that Thorin had grabbed him atop the Carrock. His sides would twitch every once in a while as he thought about how even in his injured state Thorin had been able to grasp him in a tight embrace that left Bilbo light headed. Either from the scent of blood and smoke or the feeling of Thorin’s steel like muscles wrapping around him.

The forest was relatively quiet as the orcs would have to travel at least a day’s ride to reach their spot as the eagles had given them a head start away from Azog. Oin had spent the entire night fussing over Thorin who had very quickly fallen asleep once they were able to rest. Bilbo wasn’t being the most inconspicuous as his eyes kept darting over to Thorin’s as he lay sleeping with his face lit up by the fire. Bilbo could still feel the fear pulsing through him whenever he looked over at the resting king that he was still lying prone on the ground with an orc blade to his neck. Oin had cleaned up the blood and scratches on his face, so one would be hard pressed to tell that Thorin wasn’t in fact dead and just sleeping peacefully by the fire. It was in one of those moments when Bilbo was looking over the king that Balin strode over to him, sitting on the log they had moved to sit next to the fire.

“He’ll do fine laddie, the rest will have him healed up for better or worse for the rest of the trip.” Bilbo gave an inaudible move of his mouth as he went to agree with Balin, but the way Thorin’s face didn’t show any sign of the troubled sleep he was experiencing had Bilbo’s voice caught in his throat. “Oin says that his armor protected him from the most damaging parts of the warg, so he just has some wounds from being thrown around.” Balin reached out to Bilbo. Bilbo dragged his eyes from Thorin to look at what Balin was reaching for. Balin put his hand on the bowl that Bilbo was holding and Bilbo relinquished his hold on the dish. Balin gave him a tightlipped smile and walked off to help Dori with cleaning the dishes. Gandalf had wandered off as wizards were so adept at doing leaving the rest of the company to wonder where the gray wizard was leading them to. Bilbo reached into his pocket to grab his pipe and was disappointed to see that he had only the ashes of his last bowl. He leaned behind him and nudged Bofur who was sitting with his cousin Bifur talking in Khuzdul quietly.

“Any spare pipe weed, my friend?” Bilbo tapped the stem of his pipe against his lips and offered a small smile. Bofur patted down his pockets before coming back with a miniscule pouch. It had barely a half bowl in it, but Bilbo would have to be happy he had any to begin with.

“I was savin’ it for when we get to Esgaroth, but I think you’s deserve it.” Bofur gave a toothy smile and handed it over to Bilbo. Bilbo held his hand out to reluctantly accept the baggie.

“I would hate to use the last of this.” But before he could start to debate Bofur closed Bilbo’s fingers over the little packet and pushed his hand towards Bilbo. Bilbo gave a toothless smile and thanked the dwarf. Bilbo packed his bowl and stole a small twig from the fire to light his pipe. Once lit he threw the twig back into the fire and took a few quick puffs of his pipe. He closed his eyes as he felt the smoke start to send cool tendrils down the back of his throat. His nerves from the battle had started to fizzle out as he let his breath out and he let out a little hum. He started to softly hum a tune as the dwarrow around him started to fall into their night routines as they got ready to sleep. Bilbo still felt his mind was too frayed to try to sleep, but maybe after his pipe he would find it somewhere within him to lay down and attempt rest. He saw Dori and Nori bicker over their sleeping mats while Ori was already clearly unconscious behind them. His mouth wide open as he snored softly. Dwalin was busy sharpening his axe which as if the offending weapon was the reason the orcs had tracked them down and brought Azog back from the crevices of Mordor to attack his king.

Bilbo started to mouth the words quietly under his breath as he let the stem of the pipe rest on the edge of his teeth. Balin had finished cleaning the dishes and was falling asleep sitting upright next to his brother. He swayed and bobbed as if he was fighting an invisible flock of bats. Occasionally he would fall too far forward or backwards and catch himself in a sudden jerking motion. Finally Dwalin shoved him and presumably told him in Khuzdul to sleep on the ground before he fell beard first into the fire. Behind him Bilbo could still hear Bofur and Bifur discussing something in their guttural language. Bilbo tried to listen, but his mind was busy trying to soothe itself from the last 24 hours. His fingers itched to inspect the ring in his pocket, but the weariness in his muscles kept them firmly on the log seat he had slid down to lean against with his back. His feet were precariously close to the fire, but the feeling was welcome as the night started to bring out the chill of fall. Fili and Kili had fallen rather silent and he would be damned if their silence wasn’t somehow more threatening than their constant chatter and teasing.

Bilbo kept his eyes firmly on the fire as he watched the flames dance and lick at the wood. His foot barely moving as he continued to sing softly under his breath, only stopping when he would take deep breaths of his pipe. He had to remind himself to savor the smoke as it was most likely his last one he’d see until he reached back home in the Shire.

“What’s the song you’re singing, Bilbo?” Bilbo was surprised that he didn’t startle at the sudden intrusion of his thoughts, but barely stole a glance at Fili who was leaning over his knees to speak with him. Kili had a mischievous glint to his eyes which made him hesitate before he spoke to the boys.

“It’s an old song of the Shire about good ale.” Kili gave a wide smile and Fili stood up to move closer to Bilbo.

“Dwarves know a thing or two about good ale.” Fili brushed his shoulder against Bilbo and Bilbo saw Dwalin grunt from in front of both of them. Kili walked over to sit on the log behind Fili so his legs were between Fili and Bilbo. Bilbo didn’t necessarily mind that the boys had joined him in his stupor, but he was still slightly bent that they had sent him off to save the ponies and they had left him alone without so much as a concise plan. And then he still had to come up with the plan to stall the trolls so that they wouldn’t get roasted and eaten.

“How does it go, Master Boggins?” Kili leaned forward, his elbows on Fili’s head which Fili swatted at, but Kili kept his elbows firmly planted on Fili’s head. A small slap fight ensued before either of them settled down enough to listen to Bilbo. Once they were settle Bilbo pulled a leg up to rest his arm on his knee. He took a moment to get himself into tune before he started slow and drawling, slower than the song was typically sang in the Shire, but he felt that the upbeat nature the song was usually sung was a bit out of place at the moment.

“ _Come guess me this riddle: what beats pipes and fiddle_?” Bilbo could hear Bofur stop talking abruptly behind him as he started to sing low into the fire. He watched as the flames danced to the sound of his voice as if they were a captured audience as well. “ _What's hotter than mustard and milder than cream?_ ” He could feel a few eyes on him as people had all settled down their conversations, those that were awake at least, and those sleeping remained in their slumbering state. Bilbo didn’t dare move his eyes from the fire in front of him.

“ _What best wets your whistle? What's clearer than crystal?”_ He could see Fili move his hand out of the corner of his eye to start tapping his fingers on his leg in rhythm to Bilbo’s singing. Even Dwalin stopped sharpening his axe to sit and listen to Bilbo. “ _What's sweeter than honey and stronger than steam?”_ Bilbo closed his eyes as he took a quick puff of smoke. “ _What can make the dumb talk? What can make the lame walk? What’s the elixir of life and philosopher’s stone?”_

Bilbo wiggled his toes as the fire had started to die down in the small pit they had set up, “ _And what helped Mr. Bolger to dig all down river? Sure wasn't it whiskey from ould Inishowen?”_ Bilbo could hear Kili start to hum the tune next to him and he heard rustling behind him from Bifur and Bofur, but he didn’t turn around to see what they had been doing. Bilbo closed his eyes as he started the last verse of the song.

“ _So we’ll stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature. For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys._ ” Bilbo tapped the stem of his pipe against his cheek as his mind searched for the last lines of the song. It had been a while since he had sung this at a party least of all alone and in front of a captured audience. “ _An’ boys, I hav’ wonder if lightning and thunder, were made from the plunder of whiskey me boys._ ” Bilbo’s voice slowly faded out as he finished his small recital and opened his eyes to see the last bit of the fire start to flicker out and turn to nothing but embers. He turned to see Fili and Kili with wide eyes staring at him. Bilbo took the last puff of his pipe and started to empty the bowl of ashes.

“Master Baggins.” Bilbo did jump this time as the deep, rumbling voice was highly unexpected given that less than five minutes ago the owner of the voice was asleep. Bilbo turned abruptly and he thought he heard his neck creek at the motion. Bilbo was expecting to see an angry dwarf glowering down at him for waking him up with his singing, but Thorin was looking at him with a mix embarrassment and an intense emotion he couldn’t put his finger on.

“Uh, yeah, Thorin?” Bilbo stuttered out as he pocketed his pipe and everyone was still staring at Bilbo with wide eyes. The presence of their leader having not dampened the mood for them, but only heightened it. Bilbo was sure even the fire was holding its breath as Bilbo looked up at Thorin from his spot next to the log bench.

Thorin cleared his throat before he attempted to speak, “I was wondering if I could speak with you.” Bilbo darted his eyes around at everyone before he settled on the now fidgety king.

“Sure, I was done anyways.” Bilbo remained sitting, he pat the dirt next to him, but something funny twisted up Thorin’s face. Like he was trying to convey something with his eyes that Bilbo wasn’t able to understand.

“Privately.” Bilbo cocked his head slightly to the side as he tried to wrack his brain for why Thorin wanted to speak with him privately after they had had their moment on the Carrock.

“Uh, sure, yeah, uh…?” Bilbo looked around and he could practically feel Fili and Kili’s eyes glued to the back of his head. He wanted to shove them into the fire pit. “Am I in trouble?” Bilbo managed. He brushed the dirt off his legs as he looked back up at Thorin. His face was a mask of unreadable emotions as Bilbo took in the way the king was favoring his left side.

“No, no, I…need to speak with you….about….” He hesitated as his eyes left Bilbo’s face and saw the fire dwindling down to embers. “…firewood, I need your help getting more firewood.” Bilbo heard Dwalin chortle across from them and Thorin shot him a glare before he met Bilbo’s eyes again. Suddenly Bilbo had several hands on his back shoving him to a standing position. Bilbo turned around and saw Fili, Kili, Bofur, and surprisingly Bifur looking sheepish as he gave them a stern look.

“Sure thing, Thorin.” Bilbo stepped forward as Thorin held out his left arm as he could see the strain he was putting on his leg by keeping himself rooted in the same position without any support. Bilbo let Thorin wrap his arm around his shoulder and tried to keep a safe distance between himself and Thorin, but it felt like Thorin was squeezing him closer to the dwarf’s side. Bilbo started to worry about his injuries as Thorin started to lean heavily into Bilbo’s weight. If Bilbo had been cold before he wasn’t now as the dwarf next to him radiated heat like a forge. Thorin wasn’t even wearing the elaborate armor that he normally did, after Oin was finished with him they had left him with his long shirt and tunic while he only wore pants for his legs without his usual greaves and scabbards for the various knives he kept on him at all times. He looked practically bare, especially when he had left his coat by the fire that he had been using as a pillow.

They walked for some time in silence. Bilbo didn’t know how far they had gone, but he couldn’t see the dying light of the campfire from where they were. Bilbo finally felt Thorin stop next to him and Bilbo finally turned to look at his face. The moon provided a little light for the area, but he could just make out Thorin’s dazzling blue eyes in the dark. Bilbo drew in a deep breath as he moved to step out from Thorin’s embrace and begin looking for anything they could use to stoke the fire back up. Before Bilbo could reach down to grab any kindling he felt a hand on his wrist. Bilbo gasped a bit as he was pressed flush against Thorin’s chest. So he had been putting on a show for the rest of the company, it seems. Bilbo felt Thorin’s arm wrap around his lower back, pressing him ever closer to Thorin.

“Thorin, what – “ Thorin didn’t say anything, but gently put his forehead against Bilbo’s. “This wasn’t about firewood was it?” Bilbo felt Thorin shake his head.

“Not in the slightest. I wanted to properly thank you for saving my life.” Bilbo resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the theatrics Thorin was putting on. Thorin’s hand that was initially holding his wrist had moved to cup his cheek and whatever comment Bilbo was going to make stalled on his tongue. Bilbo felt those same butterflies erupt into his stomach and moved up and down his abdomen, everywhere Thorin was touching him. Despite himself, Bilbo started to breath heavily at the contact.

“What did you have in mind?” Bilbo should not have been entertaining these actions. Thorin was a king and Bilbo was a recluse in the Shire. His self doubt was drowned out when Thorin moved his leg between Bilbo’s, and as if they were dancing, moved both of them until Bilbo felt something solid connect with his back. From the way it felt on his back it was probably a tree. Thorin kept an arm around Bilbo’s lower back to keep him pressed firmly against the dwarf. His other hand was blocking Bilbo from escaping Thorin’s grasp, as if he had any intention of doing so. Bilbo reached out with both hands to grab Thorin’s tunic. He was careful not to grab to harshly at the newly bandaged injuries. The air around them was charged and seemed to prick at Bilbo’s skin as he looked up at Thorin’s face. Thorin’s eyes were making darting motions all over his face as if to take in everything at once. Bilbo moved his hands up to run his fingers through Thorin’s beard, making the dwarf groan between clenched teeth. Bilbo pulled Thorin’s head down the rest of the distance and pressed his lips firmly against Thorin’s. Thorin grunted at the motion and Bilbo’s hands moved to the back of his neck to tangle his fingers into Thorin’s hair. The dwarf bucked his hips into Bilbo at the action. Bilbo gasped as he felt Thorin’s prominent arousal pressing into Bilbo’s stomach.

Thorin nipped at Bilbo’s bottom lip when Bilbo gasped against his mouth. Recollecting himself Bilbo darted his own tongue out to meet Thorin’s and tasted irony blood from the injury to his face and the barest hint of the stew they had managed to make for dinner. Bilbo returned the favor and grazed his teeth against Thorin’s lips while simultaneously closing his grip on Thorin’s hair. The grip he had on the back of Thorin’s head made the dwarf grab at his rear with the arm around his waist. Bilbo gave a small moan at the action. Bilbo, enthralled by the way that Thorin reacted to having his hair grasped, pulled harder at the locks. Thorin growled in a possessive manner and used both arms to lift Bilbo so that he had to wrap his legs around Thorin’s middle.

“If you keep that up, this will be over much sooner than I want it to.” Thorin warned as he broke the kiss to take deep breaths. His eyes nearly consumed with desire. Ah, so that was the emotion Bilbo had seen earlier by the campfire. Bilbo, deciding that he had earned his right to make decisions when in regards to the leader of this company, pushed his fingers further into the mane of Thorin’s hair and grabbed a healthy fistful before pulling enough to make Thorin tilt his head back. Thorin let out a low moan, his eyes stuttering closed before they shot open and he used one hand to cup Bilbo’s erection through his pants. Bilbo cried out at the pressure before disentangling his hands from Thorin’s hair to grab at his chest. Bilbo leaned back against the tree as Thorin continued to rub him through his pants. Bilbo couldn’t help the keening noises he was making. He tried to keep his voice steady given that he wasn’t sure how far out they were from the company and he didn’t particularly want them to hear him getting ravished by the leader of their company. The thought alone made his face hot and his ears were no doubt blazing red. Thorin used one hand to quickly undo has pants and reached in his trousers to free Bilbo’s leaking cock.

The feeling of Thorin’s large, warm hand wrapped around his dick nearly made Bilbo spend himself between them, but he held back and simply wrapped his legs tighter around Thorin. Thorin leaned in to kiss Bilbo again, which Bilbo happily accepted between the slow strokes that Thorin was giving to his aching cock. Bilbo’s toes curled as he tried to stave off his climax.

“Thorin, please, I’m not going to last much longer.” He said between quick kisses. Thorin stilled his ministrations after giving a flick over the head with his thumb. Bilbo was simultaneously disappointed that Thorin had listened to him and glad that he wouldn’t embarrass himself after only a few strokes with Thorin’s hand.

“This is a thank you, there’s no need to endure longer than you need to.” Bilbo grabbed tighter at Thorin’s chest as the cool air crept in and made him shiver once.

“I don’t need this to be a thank you, I want this to be because you also want this.” Bilbo grunted out as his cock was on full display between them. He couldn’t find it in him to be overly embarrassed at the way he was currently exposed. He could have done worse for himself than a gorgeous, soon to be king.

“I would have you this instant if I was healed and I could bed you proper, but this is not the time or the place for that.” Bilbo bit his lips as Thorin’s words washed over him sending hot tendrils of desire down his back and making his dick bounce at the prospect.

“Fine, please than.” Bilbo grunted out. Bilbo watched as a slow smirk encompassed Thorin’s face and Bilbo’s feet were placed on the ground. He barely had time to protest when Thorin dropped to kneel in front of him. Bilbo would be lying if the image of Thorin knelt at his feet with his prominent erection eye to eye with the dwarf king wasn’t the most intoxicating thing he had ever witnessed. Bilbo leaned back fully on the tree as Thorin made quick work of Bilbo’s pants and had easier access to his cock. Bilbo wanted to grab at Thorin’s hair but he remembered how the king had reacted and instead let his fingers dig into the bark of the tree. Thorin put his hands on Bilbo’s hips before taking the entirety of his neglected erection in his mouth. Bilbo would be the first to admit that the feeling of Thorin’s hot mouth around his cock had him screaming, but did the king have to feel so good with his lips wrapped around Bilbo’s dick. If anyone was still up at the camp they no doubt heard Bilbo scream out Thorin’s name. He would worry about that once he got the kings tongue off the head of his cock. Thorin was meticulous to pull his head back just enough to expose as little of Bilbo’s cock to the cool forest air around them while maintaining a distance that the king could breath properly. Bilbo felt his climax budding once again and he was a rambling mess as he tried to warn Thorin that he was close. The dwarf king continued to swallow down Bilbo’s cock and Bilbo could do nothing to stop the orgasm that wracked through his body. He had Thorin’s name on his tongue as he cried out again as Thorin didn’t move his head back in the slightest and used his tongue to clean up the last drops of his seed.

Bilbo had his hands on Thorin’s shoulders as he closed his eyes to finish coming down from his climax. Thorin was careful to put Bilbo back into his pants and lace them back up. Bilbo could barely stand let alone form a coherent thought. Thorin finally stood up and pressed himself against Bilbo. Bilbo could feel Thorin’s engorged cock against his stomach, but when his hands went down to attend to it, Thorin grabbed his wrists and leaned in for a slow languid kiss. Bilbo had just enough energy to return the kiss.

“We’ll have enough time for that later.” Thorin put Bilbo’s hands on his chest and wrapped his arms around the now shivering hobbit. Bilbo was thankful that the dwarf radiated heat. After a moment of Bilbo holding onto Thorin, they wordlessly started back to camp. Thorin had his arm wrapped around Bilbo’s shoulder the same way they had left camp initially. As they neared Bilbo could see that the fire had gone out completely and the embers were barely visible under the ash. Everyone had gone to sleep save for Dwalin. He had put his axe away, but was leaning with his back against the log bench. He looked over at the pair before giving a shit eating grin.

“So, to clarify, you went out looking for _Shire_ wood.” Bilbo hid his face in Thorin’s side, but Thorin said something in Khuzdul that sent Dwalin into a fit of laughter.

**Author's Note:**

> This series will just be me being an absolute thot for some good fucking fiddles. Love me some good fiddle solos. I'll also warn you if I decide to change the lyrics at any point to fit the story, it's typically not huge like I plan on using the Celtic Woman version of Teir Abhaile Riu and not the traditional one that is all in Celtic, so I'd change the pronouns obviously. But anyways I hope you guys enjoyed and expect more from me for this series. And if this was your first run in with this series go ahead and check out the other work I have up.  
> Also if you want updates or something go ahead and look for me at bag-my-oak-hole.tumblr.com (That's just my writing blog since my main blog is in shambles)


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